I recently attended “Dignity Over Violence: A Unified Civic Response,” an online Braver Angels panel discussion about the assassination of conservative activist Charlie Kirk and the growing political violence in America.
The event — attended by 1400 Americans — was hosted by Maury Giles, the new CEO of the national nonpartisan organization dedicated to depolarization and civil discussion. The event included twelve speakers from a variety of other bridge-building organizations such as BridgeUSA and CommonSense American.
The program addressed the need for all Americans to stand up to say that political violence is unacceptable.
To grow make that message louder, we need to grow the number of people who belong to the Common Ground Movement.
With that in mind, at the end of the online event, Maury invited us to send our stories about how we had become members of BA, in the hopes that by telling others about our journeys, we can persuade them to join the ranks of Americans of all political viewpoints who’ve joined together to discuss how to make our country less divisive.
You can send your story to stories@braverangels.com.
Here’s my story.
If I’ve learned one thing in life, it’s that meaningful change seems to stem solely from a breathtakingly painful ah-ha moment of seeing our own failings with utter clarity.
Such an instant of agony is what led me to become a Braver Angel.
*
Last fall I heard a radio program in which two friends — a female Democrat and a male Republican — decided to spend election day together. The woman said she felt a sense of calm. That even if her preferred candidate didn’t win, she knew she could talk to her friend about any actions the new president might take that she found questionable.
And I thought, Yeah, right.
Yet even then I envied her surety because she had someone of a different political viewpoint with whom to talk.
*
After the last election, I felt bereft of hope. A normally even-keeled person, I couldn’t sleep and felt nauseous and panicky at the thought of the leaders who would take power on inauguration day. Every day my emotions would roller coaster from outrage to despair and then bitterness, that America deserved whatever bad might happen.
I thought about the woman on the radio and wished more than ever that I had a friend with a different political viewpoint, but I had no idea of how to meet someone like that since I live in a region that’s primarily represented by one political party.
Then my sister told me the pastor at her church recommended joining an organization known as Braver Angels. I read the mission statement about bringing people together for civil discussion. Within two weeks I had become a member, connected with my local alliance and attended two online workshops and one in-person event.
But it wasn’t until a month later that I actually transitioned from being just a member, to embodying the Braver Angel spirit.
*
The catalyst for the mind-blowing transformation stemmed from a simple action: I reposted a video of a man who voiced his grief at the outcome of the election because he seemed to voice everything I felt.
After posting, I received comments of agreement from friends who share the same political beliefs. But one person said she thought I was wrong in voicing such negativity and that the future would be fine.
I didn’t respond immediately, and am glad I didn’t, because I realized this was a person who had politely let me know that she was of a different political viewpoint. We got into a conversation online, and while I won’t list specific issues, this is the gist:
Me: I think that’s white.
Her: Actually, it’s clearly black.
Me: You have to go west.
Her: No, east is the way.
Me: But surely you have to go up.
Her: You’d think so, but you go down instead.
How could the divide between what we believed to be true could be so stark?
Rereading the exchange, I saw a second pattern, that whatever we say about those of other political viewpoints is what they’re saying about us.
You’re an idiot.
No, you’re an idiot.
You’re being manipulated.
Actually, you’re being manipulated.
You’re selfish and have no compassion.
Look who’s talking. You’re selfish and without compassion.
Why were we Americans parroting the same negative messages?
And that’s when I realized that all of us — not just me, not just you, but all of us — are being manipulated by people who are purposely dividing us in order to gain power and money, and that made me feel sick.
Since delving deeper into that subject, I now know those people and organizations are conflict entrepreneurs, a term coined by journalist Amanda Ripley in her book “High Conflict” and referenced recently in “Beyond the Politics of Contempt” by Braver Angels members Doug Teschner, Beth Malow and Becky Robinson.
These conflict entrepreneurs who rake in donations and strategize to retain power at any cost are the ones who’ve conditioned us to hate one another. They’re politicians, political parties, hostile foreign nations and outright scammers who craft carefully edited messages that are inaccurate and designed to make us Americans afraid, worried and mad at one another.
What an awful thought, of the billions these people and organizations must spend every year to pay writers, editors, influencers, social media strategists, radio/TV/cable/streaming hosts and AI specialists, all with the purpose of keeping our population confused and emotionally distraught enough that we don’t think clearly.
We’re too busy pointing fingers at one another to notice the harm our country has sustained, not for a few years, but decades, during which major issues have not been substantively addressed: immigration, federal spending, social programs, crime, education, interference by bad foreign actors.
But what struck me deepest was that I fell for that negative messaging, too.
I, as a journalist, who thought myself to be logical and neutral, fell for the emails and social media posts that got me upset enough to donate money or write furious letters to my representatives.
*
The moment I recognized I’d been duped was when I became a real Braver Angel, because in that instant I thought, I refuse.
I refuse to hate my fellow Americans.
I refuse to share, comment on, post, read or listen to any messages or articles that make me feel fear, outrage and hate.
I refuse to believe people with other political viewpoints are my enemy.
In short, I’ve turned my back on conflict entrepreneurs and now openly face my fellow Americans to say I hear you, I’m with you and we need one another to take back our country from those who’ve forgotten their job is to have our back.
We Americans don’t have the billions of dollars to fight the negative messaging of conflict entrepreneurs. But we do have one another, a group of hundreds of millions. So that’s my mission every day, to welcome one more of the “exhausted majority” (https://hiddentribes.us/) into the growing group of us who stand together to listen to and support one another. A group that I hope will rapidly grow big enough that we’ll have the power to demand that our government work for us rather than against us.
That’s going to be a tough haul, but I have no doubt We, the People, will succeed.
And that’s why I’m a Braver Angel.
Join the Common Ground Movement!
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Definition of Common Ground Movement: placing your loyalty with other Americans, rather than any political party, and embracing the fact we have more in common than not.
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